Over the past few weeks I have noticed that one of the keys in any form of letting go is honesty. This was something that I knew intellectually but as you work with the deeper aspects of yourself you begin to understand that the more honest you are with yourself the more you can let go.
Honesty with yourself is important. For many years, I pretended things didn’t bother me because I wanted to be seen as spiritual. I thought that so called spiritual people shouldn’t get angry or upset and so I fell into this trap. What I didn’t understand at that point was that I was suppressing and resisting my feelings by doing this and because of this, those feelings continued to run my life.
Often we carry very subtle feelings of negativity towards certain people, races, cultures or individuals. These feelings can be very well hidden and form the foundation of many of our relationships. These feelings exist, but because we are not honest with ourselves we deny their presence and therefore cannot integrate and release them. As a result, our relationships suffer and we find ourselves confused as to why this is.
One feeling that I recently discovered in myself was a feeling of superiority towards Polish people. I looked down upon them whilst often seeing their actions as inferior and in many ways, I felt embarrassed by them. I saw them as competitive and driven by the need to feel important. What I didn’t know was that this image I had of Polish people was in fact telling me what was within me. However, I was too afraid to admit this to myself and too scared to face it. These unresolved negative feelings that lay in my subconscious created the external scenario in my life of never fully accepting my Polish heritage. It also created a division within myself and with my family.
By being honest with myself, and by really seeing my thoughts and feelings towards Polish people, I understood that I was now ready to live my life a different way. A choice was now possible but as long as I denied this aspect of myself and refused to accept it, this choice was never available. By continuing along the path of honesty I hope to uncover other hidden aspects of myself which previously I have refused to acknowledge.
Many times, we are not honest because we are fearful of how we might look in the eyes of others. We are fearful to show our vulnerable self and so risk ridicule. However, often we are also surprised when this does not happen. Our honesty and vulnerability, especially if coming from a place deep inside of us, touches and frees the deeper parts of other people. They can relate to it because often they see it as an opportunity to let go of something that has troubled them. Something they have kept secret for fear of looking inadequate or less than perfect.
If we are brave and courageous enough we will find that honesty is a big key in our continuing journey for freedom. Our honesty will not only free ourselves but those around us. That is a wonderful thing.