How to Release your Feelings – Part 2
In part 1 we worked with a method which was reactive. When emotions or feelings appeared, we embraced them and allowed them to be as they are.
The method I will write about here is more proactive. This form of emotional release involves searching your memories and bringing up something in your past that you still have issues about. Something you would like to feel better about. For instance, you might have a grievance towards a work colleague or a family member. Even if you do not remember an actual incident just thinking about a person brings an uncomfortable feeling in you. Remember this is NOT about playing the victim. It is about facing what is already present for you to go beyond it. Unless you admit to yourself that you still harbour resentment then you cannot let it go.
Step 1 – bring up an uncomfortable memory that is still within you. It might be a buried subconscious memory which would also come with an unpleasant feeling. Imagine yourself in this scenario or with this person.
Step 2 – Now drop the story and allow yourself to fully embrace the feeling and just breath into it. Try not to get involved in the movie of the story. If the story reappears just notice it and allow it to be. Your job is just to feel. We must fully embrace any feeling that occurs and just allow it to do what it wants to do.
Step 3 – Ask yourself these questions
- Could I bring up more of this feeling?
- Could I allow this feeling to evolve the way it wants to?
- Could I stay with this feeling until it changes?
Step 4 – If we are able to feel the feeling fully then there will come a stage where we realise we are not this feeling. We are separate from this feeling. We are not anger. We are not grief. We are not embarrassment. With this realization you will no longer be identified with that feeling. Then it becomes easier to drop it.
Step 5 – Let it go. Once we become the observer of the feeling then it is easier to let it go. When we become the observer, is is no longer locked in place with so much strength. It is then that you decide to let it go. If the feeling persists just allow it to do so. Allow it to be exactly how it is. It will drop eventually but you need to be patient. Also, you must let go of wanting it to be release. This ‘wanting’ it to be released must also be let go of.
Step 5 – Examine yourself and notice whether you feel any different. The release of a feeling will be accompanied by a lighter sensation. Bring up the memory or person again see if you feel any different about it. If you feel lighter and that memory does not trigger the same emotional charge then congratulations, you have released.
- Remember you are doing this process to find out what you really feel about a memory or event. Honesty is the key.
- This is a proactive process so you can do it at any time. However, life will always bring you events that trigger emotional responses regardless of whether you are proactive about this or not.
- Find your own technique for emotional release. This is important. What I have said above may not work completely for you. You might feel that an extra step is needed or an extra realisation. Create a method that works for you.
- Do not give up. You need an incredible amount of stamina to stay with some feelings.
- Do not play the victim. This happened to me many times which is why I mention it more than once. I brought up a memory but then unconsciously I found myself stuck in my thoughts and before I realised I was spending time creating pain rather than releasing it.