It was about 1.30am and I was in the middle of a nightmare. Now I don’t often experience these but on this occasion for some unknown reason I was terrified of a story within my mind that had appeared during my sleep.
In the past if this happened to me I would just switch on the bedroom light, put on the radio or do something to distract myself. On this occasion though I decided to stay with the feeling. I replayed the events of the nightmare and found an intense fear. It is then that I said to myself that no matter what, I am going to face this fear. My heart was beating heavily, my entire body was drenched in sweat and I had goose pimples all over my body. At this point though I was prepared to do whatever it takes to face it. I knew that if I stayed with the feeling long enough then it would eventually clear.
During the next hour wave after wave of intense fear came and went. Each time it appeared I would ask for more and stay with that feeling until it subsided. When it did I would ask ‘is that it?’ and inevitably another wave of intense fear would rise from within. My job was just to stay with the feeling and I was determined to face it fully.
At one point during the process I started having memories about an incident in my childhood that had brought up an incredibly intense fear. Again this fear came but even stronger than before. It was then I realised the connection between this fear and the nightmare. I realised that I had not fully processed my emotions about this incident and that this energy had stayed within my body. This fear had been with me for over 30 years. I stayed with the feelings which had now surfaced from my subconscious and by the time I was finished it was about 3am in the morning.
After I had finished I knew that the majority of the fear from that memory had gone. However, I examined myself carefully and knew that there was still fear present. This was to be faced another day.
It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that I realised what I had actually done. The following day I had the most productive day at work that I can remember. Not only that but my fear in almost every area of my life had gone down. My fear about making business decisions had gone down. My fear about lack of money had gone down. My fear about a new business opportunity had gone down. My fear about facing unpleasant situations in my life had gone down. It was across the board and in almost every area of my life.
What I realised then is that we all carry these suppressed feelings and emotions around with us and most of the time we are not even aware of them. For me, it took a huge amount of courage to face that fear but when I did, I came out the other side feeling lighter, happier and even stronger than before.
When you do work such as this you are basically opening up Pandora’s box. All the garbage you have suppressed will start to flow out. You must be prepared for this because often it will catch you by surprise and the first thing your mind will do is to project. However, the rewards in facing your feelings are far greater than you could imagine.