This article was first published on LinkedIn

It came to me recently that throughout the most of my life I have been doing things out of fear. Many decisions that I made were motivated solely by wanting to be able to survive and then once this was satisfied then I needed to BE someone. This again was fear based because deep down I had not accepted the person I was.

What happens to businesses that are built from fear? What happens when a job is done out of fear? For a start our interest is in the results of the activity so we don’t really enjoy what we do. We may pretend that we do but deep down our actions are driven by this unconscious fear. We work for the bottom line. The same applies when you start a job because you need to survive. At this point the foundation of your work is fear based and so once again the same story follows. You do not enjoy the job and because of this it is harder to succeed. You work for a pay cheque.

What happens when we are in a relationship out of fear? The same thing. We become very susceptible to jealousy and anger. We start to rely on the other person to make us feel better. Many times we are in a relationship out of fear of being alone and when this happens we perceive threats that do not really exist. We see our partners words not as they were meant but as we believe they were meant. The difference between the two perceptions can be huge.

Most people are motivated by fear and it is a very rare individual that is actually motivated by love. The reason I believe is because you cannot really do anything out of love if you hold suppressed fear and we all hold suppressed fear just to different degrees. If we do not know how to deal with this fear, then each time we try to do something we love then that fear will suddenly be made conscious. We will become scared and stop doing the thing we love.

I see two ways out of this conundrum. The first is just to go ahead and do what you love. You will deal with the fear as and when it comes. The second is to find the root of the fear which will always be in the past, face the feelings associated with it, let them go and then go ahead. Both ways take courage, tenacity and stamina.

You always have a choice to do things out of love or out of fear and if you really want to know then ask yourself that very question. Am I motivated by love or by fear? The answer may surprise you.